Why I Don’t Bash Other Churches Or Ministries

I walk a fine line here sometimes on this blog.

When I initially started thinking about doing this blog and what I would name it, I intentionally stayed away from using the word “marketing” a lot.

I knew there were going to be people who would “shut down” if they saw that word here. Or that some would come with their minds ready to antagonize or, maybe, some who wouldn’t even click on my website link and take a moment to read what I had to say.

I use this tagline sometimes – “Redeeming marketing practices with biblical discernment.”

And that’s really what this site is about … helping churches, pastors and others find the redeemable qualities in technology, like websites and blogs, and marketing techniques, like advertising, that can be salvaged, rescued, repurposed, reused for use in ministry … and do it in a biblically faithful way … for the cause of Christ … and the glory of God.

Admittedly, some of the examples of these techniques or uses of it in which I profile here or link to from time-to-time are things I cannot or will not choose to use in my own ministry setting for various reasons.

One of the chief reasons for that is that … some of these examples do not fit the particular “DNA” of my church. And that’s not a bad thing.

Rick Warren tells those in his conferences that “Saddleback Sam” — the typical person Saddleback is seeking to reach — “does not live in your community.” He (or she) lives in Orange County, California … not Oklahoma City, or St. Paul, Minnesota, etc.

A lot of the churches I profile here — like LifeChurch, Granger, Mark Batterson’s National Community Church, Fellowship, etc. etc. — are on the cutting edge of using technology for ministry. And I love seeing their example!

… but I don’t serve there or in their community. I serve MY church and in my community. And my church is different from your church. I don’t minister to the same people you do … or they do …

BUT … I do respect, appreciate and admire how they are pioneering technology for use in ministry … and I want to expose other churches and pastors to those uses … because some of you have some of their particular “DNA” in your church … and some of you may be ministering to similar demographic groups as those churches.

AND also … I, personally, want to be stretched by them and to grow and to learn. I want to HAVE to ask myself whether or not that’s a healthy thing or the right thing to do in MY ministry situation …

Just being 3 or 4 miles down the road (literally) from LifeChurch has been an incredibly stretching (and learning) experience for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing how they “do ministry” as a neighboring church communications director and fellow believer.

In fact, I think LifeChurch’s pastor Craig Groeschel alludes to this in a recent post called Don’t Do It All saying why they choose, for instance, not to do Vacation Bible School and other ministry activites … and that he’s “not against these things. Your ministry might do one or more of these things exceptionally well and reach people with them. But we weren’t.”

And I’ll be the first to admit … despite the fact I talk a lot about using technology for ministry here, if you compare my “church communications” work to Life’s in the category of “tech savvy,” I’m a toddler learning to push the buttons on a Fisher-Price toy. :-)

This all leads me to this post’s headline: WHY I DON’T BASH OTHER CHURCHES OR MINISTRIES.

Note the use of the word “Bash.”

Fact: There’s a lot of bashing going on in the blogosphere. And on the Web in general.

A basher is one who bashes another openly and publicly and, I might add, unbiblically, unlovingly … without the potential for helping the objecting of the bashing in a positive, unifying, constructive, and strengthening way.

I don’t want to be a basher.

Some will say … but what if what they are doing is unbiblical or sin?

I would say … then confront that person PRIVATELY … and BIBLICALLY.

Oh, did I say privately? and biblically?

Well, let me add … lovingly.

Here’s a side story … but relevant.

This week, I was emailing with a “virtual” friend of mine and a fellow blogger. We were lamenting some of the things that have gone on in the blogosphere. “Bashing” against fellow believers would be a good phrase to describe the topic of our conversation.

I don’t always follow this wisdom … or in fact don’t always want to … but this is how I want to operate on the Web and on this blog … and heck, in person, in my home, in life, etc.

I’ll just give them though as my 10 simple, personal principles for blogging and for life too …

1. Follow your heart.

2. No, strike that … you can’t trust your heart. Follow Christ instead. Actually, ONLY follow Christ.

3. Err on the side of grace.

4. Although we like to think in terms of black and white — clear and distinct lines between things — often, the world is a whole lot of gray. (Ref. No. 3)

5. But by saying that … we should also stand for truth, on the truth, behind the truth, beneath the truth … but our words of truth should be coated with a shiny polish of love and grace.

6. Remember it’s about Christ. It’s about His mission. And the mission He left us to do.

7. Satan enjoys seeing brothers and sisters fight … the more vicious it is, the more satisfaction he gets. Don’t give him a free frontrow ticket to his favorite boxing match.

8. Ignore the bitter bile of critics, but use it as a check-up and evaluation just to make sure you’re on target. (Ref. No. 6)

9. Keep the primary, essential, major things … the primary, essential and major things. The Gospel, Jesus, the Cross, the Resurrection, and the Word … oh, and taking those things to a lost and dying world (Ref. Great Commission) … those are the essentials I’ll fight for and about. I’ll draw lines and boundaries for those things. Those are the black and white and clear and distinct lines I see. Most everything else — the secondary issues — I’ll talk about one-to-one, privately … but I won’t fight about them publicly, viciously, radically. There’s a reason they are secondary issues.

10. Do it all for the glory of God. For His highest. Because truly and honestly, it’s about Him … not me, the one with the sick heart. (Ref. No. 2 then No. 6 and repeat No. 10 again.)

ONE MORE THING: Thinking about critics … and bashing … my thoughts steer toward the bell curve.

I think it’s a good illustration for what I’m trying to say … or to accurately frame some of this and what I’ve experienced the last couple of weeks in the background of this blog and my life.

The bell curve … and from what I know … the bell curve and the distribution of the bell curve has equal numbers or variables or whatever on either side of its peak.

The left and the right (I’m not talking politically, just directionally here) … and in the middle is a whole bunch, in fact, most of the mass or numbers or whatever (hey, I’m a writer, not a scientist or mathematician!) … are in the middle.

But at the edges of the bell curves are smaller minorities of numbers, or variables. And they taper off to the edges of the bell curve …

OK, well, if you’re following me … this is how I kind of look at the most vocal people on this blog, on other blogs, in my life, in general ….

What I mean by this illustration is that … from what I’ve observed … there will always be a small minority that bashes, that criticizes, that causes a deep grief in your stomach for just about everything you do. These are the people that I avoid like they have the plague and it could be spread just by looking at me.

I observed some of this edge of the bell curve in my Blogging 101 for Pastors series as I interviewed blogging pastors. I got an “out of nowhere” type of comment on one of the pastors I interviewed by a person trying to make a public bash out of this pastor’s ministry … on my blog.

[Picture me hitting the “delete” key on that comment.]

I’ve also encountered this kind of element on the “bell curve” in my work with a ministry, which will go nameless. But a couple of people write some books that are shelved in the “I’m against everything this guy does” kind of category.

[Picture me thinking thoughtfully yet curiously why someone — a fellow believer in fact — would devote so much time, energy and money to writing a whole book against another fellow believer.]

I digress … but just wanted to illustrate that side of the bell curve illustration.

THEN … there’s the other side of the vocal bell curve … another minority.

I call these the encouragers. They are the antithesis of the basher group.

For this blog and my “ministry” here, they are Micah, Nathan, Josh, Jeff, Chris, James, Kirk, Mark A (who has contributed several great guest posts), and a bunch of others who just send me super-nice emails saying “thanks.”

And of course, first and foremost in this group … my beautiful bride of four years. I can’t count how many of you have asked, “How in the world do you find the time to do all this?”

In fact, Kirk asked me that question, but look at Jennifer for her response too! :-)

My answer to that question generally goes something like this: “I’m a crazy, sometimes obsessed, sleep-depraved whacko … who has one of the most awesome and supportive brides that loves me and encourages me and sees how I am ‘ministering’ through this site.” [Love you, sweetie!]

And I know … for every basher to other people’s ministries, there is a group (maybe an equally small, but vocal one) that says, “Thanks.” “Keep plugging along!” “We’re praying for you.”

For those of you struggling, like I have at times, I say, with that small band of your encouragers: “LIVE OUT YOUR CALLING! TAKE ANOTHER STEP OUT AGAIN AND BE WILLING TO GET HIT BY A PITCH OR TWO FOR THE CAUSE OF CHRIST!”

This is why I choose NOT to bash or ridicule or demean or spew venom from this blog on or about other churches or ministries.

I choose rather to be an encourager to those who I sense love Jesus and want to see others love Him too.

OK, I’m rambling now … it’s late … so I’ll just end with this.

I don’t expect every one to agree with me here … or anyone mentioned here … in fact, I heard a wise man say one time, “Nobody matches up 100%.” How true.

But for the bashers, I’ll just say one word on my behalf and for others you choose to bash openly and publicly and with bile and without grace and love: He’s watching.

… both you … and ME. And one day … we’ll both have to answer to Him.

But for those on my bell curve who choose to encourage, I say: I sure do love you. Those you support love you too! And I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for you and your support. And I know that if I do veer off the map … you’ll be the first to step up and correct me … to warn me … and I’ll WANT to listen to you because you’ll do it with love … and for my own protection … and because you just love Jesus and want everything I do to shine brightest for His glory.

Oh, yeah … P.S. and BTW … this wouldn’t be a tasty blog post without a gripping confession, right?

I was once a basher …
But now, I want to be known as an encourager …
One, who in love will correct those he loves …
… with abundant love
… with grace
… with truth
… with the Lord Jesus Christ in mind … as He bled and died for me.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Grace and Peace to You,

Cory Miller

February 16, 2007 · Filed Under Church Marketing

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Comments

12 Responses to “Why I Don’t Bash Other Churches Or Ministries”

  1. NGP Web Team on February 16th, 2007 1:13 am

    Good stuff and wonderful post. I can relate.

  2. Jeff Wilson on February 16th, 2007 4:44 am

    Great word for all of us. Thanks Cory!

  3. Armen on February 16th, 2007 5:18 am

    Totally see where you’re coming from here. I think you’d enjoy my Calvinism vs. Arminianism - http://www.armensblog.com/2007/01/20/calvinism-vs-arminianism

    However in saying that, sometimes we have to be careful not to ‘bash the bashers’ as our Lord was sharp against error. Maybe some people have such a ministry - maybe not.

  4. Nathan Rice on February 16th, 2007 5:42 am

    Not only do I know that I can relate, YOU know that I can relate, Cory :-)

    The Lord just totally used your post to teach me some things. It’s full of biblical truth, and I appreciate that. You’ve helped me calm down and realize that even though they come hard, I’m on the winners circle, so it doesn’t really matter.

    Thanks so much! I feel better now :-)

    Nathan

  5. Cory Miller on February 16th, 2007 7:00 am

    Jeff, thanks for being an “encourager” and also a great example for me of how to live and be! Rock on, bro!

    Armen, I’ll check that post out, thanks … but I would not call “bashing” a ministry. I don’t think publicly and unlovingly bashing others for the world to see is true biblical ministry. I think Christ laid out ways to confront brothers and sisters … most of what I see in the form of bashing skips the private, loving part …

    Nathan, you bet! I continue to cherish your friendship … keep up the great ministry you have going!

  6. micah on February 16th, 2007 8:28 am

    You know Cory, I think it’s impossible to be really encouraging and to avoid the bashing, until you really try have a grip on your own fallibility. There is a huge need for “sin awareness” in our churches. I’m afraid we’ve learned to be too plastic and in doing so we’ve forgotten just how messed up we really are.

    Once we get a handle on our own faults and the existence of grace in our lives, than we can start valuing others although we may disagree with them, and encouraging others…like yourself. Keep it up man. I really, really need your help in this business. :-)

  7. Bill A. on February 16th, 2007 8:31 am

    Yes, yes, yes!!!! I’ve been saying essentially the same thing to people for quite some time. Although you were more eloquent than me!

    I knew I liked this blog!

    Well done, thou good and faithful servant!

  8. Cory Miller on February 16th, 2007 8:55 am

    Micah, good word … the Lord reminds me quite a bit how messed up I am. Despite my arrogance in often thinking, I’ve arrived at some holy status … I sure haven’t!

    Thank the Lord for grace!!!!!

    Bill, thanks!

  9. David Frey on February 16th, 2007 12:33 pm

    I love this quote, “Satan enjoys see brothers and sisters (and husbands and wives) fight … the more vicious it is, the more satisfaction he gets. Don’t give him a free frontrow ticket to his favorite boxing match.”

    David

  10. Armen on February 16th, 2007 4:35 pm

    Cory,

    I didn’t really mean it as crudely as bashing, but there have been some men used of God in the past to alert other believers to error, etc. Sometimes it requires it to be dealt with publically.

    E.g. After a certain american preacher started apostisizing, some of his old preaching friends tried to speak to him privately and sent letters in love and concern, but he wouldn’t listen. Sadly he went his own way and got worse and worse.

    This is an unhappy example of what I mean (I do know names). Many believers have followed this mans example, that is why he ought to be exposed (’publically bashed’) as he is now a danger.

    Having said that, SOME men I feel have concentrated too much in exposing the errors in others.

    The Lord Jesus rarely confronted the pharisees privately, and even the apostle Paul confronted Peter publically (Gal 2).

    Where confrontation is required though, it requires great wisdom, and always love.

  11. Antoine of MMM on February 18th, 2007 11:53 am

    This is a very good post, and I agree with you completely as in many ways, I sit in a similar position as a blogger, and in ministry. Probably more than the email that I sent you weeks ago, this has encouraged me. Thanks for your openness about your heart for God’s people.

  12. Mark B. on March 5th, 2007 5:39 am

    Ah, I missed this one (found it in the newsletter just today).

    I used to post a lot on a few Christian forums but inevitably, with so many people all having posting abilities, it would almost always turn into a bashfest. Each forum seemed to have their own “cat to kick. Blogging seems to be the answer to that problem.

    If only I could write as well as you do … :)

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